Now, I embrace introversion instead of feeling embarrassed by it.
There's too much noise in the world. Lord knows I like to talk. But, hopefully, when I do, I try to have something meaningful to say. One thing I've noticed about myself is that I'm pretty good at listening with my eyes. It's interesting to observe people's reaction to you when you give them your undivided attention when they are talking to you.
Continuing to listen more, talk less.
This article was in the CA today.
QUIET POWER
Introverts can channel inner life into strength
By Angela Hill
Oakland Tribune
You think — deeply, and preferably in solitude — therefore you are most likely an introvert.
While American culture is clearly an extrovert’s playground, favoring
class clowns and cheerleaders, it’s perfectly fine for you to sit,
immersed in a good book, over by the monkey bars. It’s OK to reject a
boisterous party in favor of a one-on-one chat with a friend. And it’s
totally cool to let a phone call slide into voicemail so you can prepare
a calm response.
The tendency to step back from the noise
allows you to join the ranks of Albert Einstein, Eleanor Roosevelt,
Vincent van Gogh, Rosa Parks, Steve Wozniak, Steven Spielberg, J.K.
Rowling and Mahatma Gandhi.
Introverts, one and all.
And while typically feeling oddman/ woman out, introspective types
are getting some love these days, thanks to books such as “Quiet: The
Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” by
self-proclaimed introvert and former Wall Street attorney Susan Cain,
and “Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Inner Strength,” by
psychologist Laurie Helgoe.
Both call introverts to unite and be proud — just be sure to give each other plenty of space and quiet time when you do it.
“I actually had a lot of discomfort writing my book, basically outing
myself as an introvert,” Cain said jokingly in a phone interview. “In
this society, we’re often seen as secondclass personality types. So I wanted introverts to know how powerful they can be when they finally take stock of their own talents.”
It took Cain quite some time to do that herself. Years ago, when she
entered the world of corporate law, she first thought her introspective
nature would put her at a disadvantage.
“I thought the ideal
lawyer was bold and comfortable in the spotlight, and I wasn’t,” she
said. “But I began to realize my introverted traits could be very
useful. Things like listening really well, preparing thoughtfully for a
case, forging one-on-one alliances behind the scenes, thinking things
through, thinking deeply. All these qualities were highly effective.”
Personality types have been studied for decades: The terms “extrovert”
and “introvert” were made popular in the 1920s by psychiatrist Dr. Carl
Jung.
According to current studies, at least one-third to
one-half of Americans may consider themselves on the introvert end of
the spectrum. And misconceptions about that personality type abound,
psychologists say.
For one, an introvert is not necessarily
shy. Shyness is more about fear of negative judgment and social
humiliation, while many introverts merely opt for quiet time and
reflection — not out of fear, but out of choice.
Introverts are
not antisocial. They enjoy social gatherings, but on a smaller scale
than extroverts do. Introverts are energized and refreshed by reflection
and contemplation. Extroverts are energized by interaction.
One is not better than the other, but some argue that society is out of balance, favoring and rewarding extrovert tendencies.
“The pressure in our culture to enjoy parties, chatter and
interactions — employers who value ‘people skills’ — this can lead
people to think that an inward orientation is a problem instead of an
opportunity,” said Helgoe, an introvert who has also been an actress and
model and is a national public speaker.
“We need to realize
the reserved approach of the introvert can be a powerful tool — even a
business strategy,” she said. She told of one successful businesswoman
who would let others blather away in a meeting while she listened
intently, biding her time and then making keen observations.
“By holding back, it gave the impression what she had to say was more valuable,” Helgoe said.
