Momma Mary & Baby Jesus in Legos

Mom and I stopped at the Our Lady of the Snows shrine in Belleville, IL. It was pretty and peaceful there, but this is what caught my eye. I can't imagine the vision it takes to create something so defined at a distance yet abstract close up. 

Today is my (happy) birthday.

Another one in the books. 54. 

I create this pressure to be happy and engaged and upbeat on my birthday. I really want it. How we're supposed to be, right? A day all about you. Well, you and the other 16 million folks who by happenstance share one thing in common with you. A good portion of those might not even know that today is the anniversary of their first breath. Most probably haven't considered that they could have just as likely been chosen by their mother not to be born. Perfectly legal and acceptable by some standards. Really, a sad thought. But, I digress. 

I want this to be a happy birthday. In my mind though, the checkboxes of requirements to make this a happy one necessitate effort on the part of too many other people. Spend all day waiting for this or that person to call. Expectations and pressure are going to do me in. 

The little girl in me still wants to be noticed. Still trying to be good enough. Still trying to please, get along, to say the right thing. All the while unable to say what I want to say or really know what I want to do. So many years of falling in line: it makes it difficult to beat your own path. 

I wonder how it feels to be the first thought instead of the afterthought. 

Maybe I'll find out on a future August 17th. 

Woodwork

We are finally after too too many years getting the wood on the carport and the house replaced. A tree fell on the carport from the yard behind ours. It was so dead that it really just crumbled and did not do damage. Although, it was leaning on the peak of the carport. It was kismet that Greg Wiggins happened to be down the street today. Easley contractors called because they had a cancelation and wanted to start today instead of next week. How fortunate that Greg was able to come over and take care of that tree so the workers could start on the carport. I can't wait to see it finished. 

Transformation, One room at a time

I am in a manic mode right now. Not necessarily to the extent of bipolar mania, but I'm very driven right now. I just want to do everything. Painting, sewing, gardening, de-cluttering... Every room, every closet, every drawer, every flower bed  is drawing me in. Begging me to unleash some energy. 

While I do have a few balls in the air right now, I'm determined to stay focused and purposeful so each project started will be completed. Hopefully as the mania wanes, as it always does, I'll be able to appreciate the effort because I'll see completion instead of partially done which equals chaos to my agitated mind. 

This week while on vacation, I tackled the dining room. I wanted something lighter in color, a little more contemporary, AND I FINALLY WANTED TO GET THE QUARTER ROUND DOWN. That is all caps (mania) because the baseboards have gone unfinished for over a decade!

I learned a new skill. I am now able to miter corners and drill tiny holes to attach the q. r. to the baseboards. I love the final  product. I hope to find a new art piece to place above the buffet. This is a before picture with green walls and redslip covers and curtains. The actual chair covers were blue. 

Here the blue chairs show up a little. So much color. 

Re-upholstered the chairs with some awesome $5/yd. fabric from the remnant table. 

Much better! Also cleaned and waxed the floors. I may be going crazy. 

Finally, a front door color to love!

We have lived in our house16+ years. About 14 years ago we had the exterior painted. It was mostly windows, trim and the siding on the upper back half of the house-all painted white. The two sets of shutters were green and the front doors we painted red in a color complementary to our brick. 

Fast forward fourteen years. The shutters were rotting and had to come down. The lack of contrast caused the house to look monochromatic. And I was just tired of the red.  Bleh. I was not ready to hang new shutters until we address the gutter issue. But, I felt like contrasting front doors right now would be the answer to making me happy with the curb appeal. 

What a search it was! I had pinned lots of blue front doors in search of the right color to go with my red brick house. I love blue and I knew it was the answer. Until it wasn't. The house went from bleh to Woah!--Not sure where to focus my eyes!  The blue I had was lovely, but I realized the variant hues of the brick coupled with the teakwood colored roof was just too much! The oak in the front yard was about to get a big shape-up which would make it all more visible. Nope. Blue was not the color. 

Green like my old shutters could have been the color. But, I wanted something different. 

Before heading to Ace Hardware and buying too many sample colors to add to my dilemma, I got smart and took a real closeup look at the dark tones in the brick AND the roof color. I looked at them with paint chips in hand at different times of the day, in sunlight and shadows. And I kept being drawn back to a color I loved that terrified me at the same time--purple. Not Barney-purple, or Mardi Gras-purple. More of a purplish-charcoal-brownish color. It's Benjamin Moore Deep Caviar. 

I lightly buffed the old brass hardware with a superfine grit sandpaper to bring out some shine. 

The door colors are similar to the darkest bricks and the roof color in the shadows

Here, you can see the darker brick though the storm doors make it harder to see the color. 

A better view. 

I am very happy at how they provide some contrast, but are not distracting. 

Fear vs. Love

I read on a website a very insightful message. In summary: everything we do in life is motivated by one of two things. We either do something because of fear or because of love. We should do everything because of love.

NBC Learn K-12 preemie doctor

NBC Learn K-12 preemie doctor

this is a video about Dr. Korones from 2008. He passed away in July 2013. I learned alot from this man. He was brilliant, dedicated and a fierce defender of the preemie. He also could make you crazy! Some days I miss his style. That method of practicing medicine and doing research will never exist again.

Ready, Set, Grow!

Tonight I started seeds for the garden. I labeled them better than last year, so here's hoping they don't get mixed up. 

Using the Jiffy Pot starters I planted:

6 Romas

4 Early Girls

4 Mortgage Lifters

4 Big Red

2 Red Cherry

2 Sun Gold

4 California Wonder Bell Pepper

4 Brussels Sprouts

2 Artichokes

1 Parsley

1 Tarragon

Fingers Crossed!

Sorrowful mysteries a little less mysterious

I am making a good effort to pray a rosary everyday. I've been praying one on my way downtown on work days for probably 6 or 7 years. But, quite recently the Urge which I have regularly suppressed has been quietly insistent. "You need this. Everyday. Come lay your burdens down. Tell them to your Mother." 

Repetition has it's value I have discovered. In a sense, it opens the mind for deeper thoughts to develop. I rarely have profound discovery. Tonight it felt like finding that puzzle piece I had been searching for a long, long time. It by no means finished the picture. Just a small part falling into place. 

Jesus gets my fear because he truly knew the same in The Agony in the Garden. 

Jesus understands my physical pain. He felt it too at the Scouraging at the Pillar. 

Jesus knows my humiliation because of taunts and disrespect he received with the Crowning With Thorns. 

Jesus relates well to my burdens-my work and family and time and health struggles because he bore the greatest of burdens in the Carrying of the Cross. 

And that singular, universal fate--facing our own mortality...Jesus, true man and true God, has traveled the path and will walk it again with us so we will need not fear. 

Uncle Luke

(Original post from Jan. 2015. I hate that the date changed because I edited one word. )

Uncle Luke Borger died Saturday and was buried today. He was 102 and "almost a half."

Uncle Joe came down for the visitation and funeral. While we waited for the family to return from Memorial Park, uncle Joe told us that Grandpa Romer, Uncle Ham  and Uncle Luke opened a furniture factory in Piqua. Grandpa and Uncle Ham financed it and Uncle Luke ran it. They were only in business for two years even though they always ran in the black. The bigger manufacturers got wind of their success and threatened to pull their business if the suppliers didn't stop selling to this smaller factory. Without springs and wood, they couldn't stay open. It would be interesting to find out more details in that history.